800 Words S3E4

George thinks that surfing might be the answer to Shay's problems but she's really not into it - that look she gives him tells the whole story.

George’s article this week is musing about how age is not to be equated with wisdom, which links nicely with Woody’s problem. He has to go to go to Australia to get the ex-wife Tracey knows nothing about to sign divorce papers, so hits on the idea of saying he is going to a symposium of Australasian Registered Solar Engineers, but Tracey doesn't buy ARSES as a proper organisation. So Woody’s way out is reverse psychology - talking it down so she says he must go. When she worries that she can't find a website, Woody enlists Sean to make a website of mind-boggling tedium; he then gets Ike to make it - he does such a good job that Tracey is proud of him for going to such a hard out conference. Of course this is not the end of it - she wants to go, he persuades her it will be boring but George is so much better at lying, can he please make her happy about not going. Poor old Woody has a seriously mangled metaphor. But Woody is such an innocent and Smiler is no better - so George has to go, to protect his investment. Smiler, George, Woody - the three arses. Tracey is so kind and proud, she makes cool business cards - this tips Woody over the edge - she's too good for me, I have to break up and move far away. George talks him down.

At the end of the last episode, Ike's mum Ngahuia (Miriama Smith - haven't seen her for a while) arrives. Shay mentions it to Siouxsie while they are boxing. This causes a stir - Monty is also boxing but he loses attention and takes a punch to face. Sean apparently took to hiding from her, Hannah calls her a taniwha and Constable Tom obviously has bad memories of giving her parking ticket but Monty sees her as “an agent sent from heaven”, warns George to back off. So of course George and Ngahuia meet - wants him to consider Ike's experience was real, that Ike has something to say to him. Ike talks about his kaitiakis - he made promise if they would save him. Laura was one of his kaitiaki, which George naturally has trouble processing, more trouble with Laura's message “don’t be like dying fly on windowsill”.

 Shay knows what this means - something between her and her mum, Shay had been troublemaker when at school, the statement was made by the principal. Means - if she ever goofing around, mum was to use the phrase. Arlo says “that’s freaky” but underwhelming message from beyond the grave. There is much agonising over why Laura spoke to Ike and not George or Shay, but Arlo is the voice of reason: she might have been being mum, lending hand where most needed. We don’t need visit, doing OK.  

The other main story line was about Hannah, who wants to be cop, offers to be civillian support officer for Tom, but he is all "why - you have been a giant pain in my bum for years, you flirt with the wrong side of the law". She says too old for other choices, wants to be taken seriously - I think he was impressed, even more so when she gives a pretty accurate account of what Woody and co are up to.