Twenty Steps to A Great Weekend in Wellington

1. Get offside with someone at home to the point you just have to leave.
2. Make increasingly panicky phone calls to Wellington trying to find accomodation, to be told that there's nothing, the place is chocka. Give up on going. Have brainwave and book rental car simply to sleep in.
3. Drive own vehicle to Christchurch and abandon on road outside airport. Paying $48 for parking is for suckers. Pray to patron saint of vehicles that yours will still be there when you return.
4. Pay Avis $20 and be given a shiny dark blue and brand new long wheelbase Toyota Landcruiser to drive to Picton.
5. Have a village style chilli chicken meal and beer (but not too much or you won't be able to drive) at Thai Thai in Colombo Street.
6. Sort out soundtrack for drive - Lucid3, SJD, Lambchop and Nic Cave (I so love his latest CD). Set stereo to loud and drive. Don't stop.
7. Get off ferry at 8:50 so there's just a few minutes to wait for Astoria to open and pig out on their breakfast.
8. Only go to the best cafes, because life is too short for shit coffee. Deluxe and Midnight Espresso will do fine.
9. Hang out in Slowboat, Real Groovy, any CD shop that's doing a $25 or less deal, Unity, Arty Bees. Even better if they can supply the book you need that no library has been able to come up with.
10. Avoid foodcourt food at all costs - it is substandard and there's no need for it. At all. Maybe if they stayed open all night, they would have a point. But they don't.
11. Have dinner at the busiest (but not one so busy they can't feed you) Satay whatever Malaysian cafes around the place. Satay Kingdom will do.
12. Forego Paselode and the Fanatics when you realise that NZ's best old skool rock'n'roll band, the Dellburgoes, is playing at Bodega. They have better beer there than Indigo anyway.
13. Sleep in said rental car. Special thanks to the nice security guard who didn't come to throw you off the Massey campus (old habits die hard) but just to make sure you were OK. Nice.
14. Sunday afternoon is for relaxing. Hanging out in the YHA reading is as good a way to do this as any - the Deluxe is just across the road.
15. Have dinner at Chow. They're good.
16. Go and see the bands you actually came to Wellington for - Ghostplane, David Kilgour and Lambchop. All three are fabulous.
17. Panic when you take a coffee break from Indigo and see fire engines pouring a huge amount of water into Valve. Feel relieved when you realise its the building next door that's on fire.
18. Enjoy Indigo. Its a good bar.
19. Don't worry too much about the fallout when you get home. That will only spoil your trip.
20. Don't worry if there's only 19 steps - 20 was a nice round number.